Thursday, May 27, 2010

.....n Iron Man too?

Okayy, in light of d recent n not-so-very-recent movie parade dat i've romped about on in d past couple of months, i'd really really lyk to discuss some of them. im gonna clearly state though, that these are NOT meant to b viewed seriously, n are in no way meant to b directed against d movie industry in any way whatsoever! So here goes.......

Karthik Calling Karthik
U'd really think ur gonna watch sumthin intrestin wen u hear dat d storyline involves a person with schizophrenia in d form oof multiple-personality disorder. Well, reality check: its just a whole load of claptrap abt how sum twisted dude believs he has 2 personalities n decyded to friggin FOOL HIS ALTER EGO by HIDING INFORMATION ABOUT HIMSELF FROM HIMSELF HIMSELF!! Yes, i wrote "himself" twice....coz it makes perfect sense! :-) Here r sum pointers from d movie:
1) Dude loves chick
2) Dude has hot, suave alter ego who calls him (meanin himself) up to help him get chick
3) Chick's a dramatic beyotch
4) Dude sad to hide himself (as alter ego) from her
5) Dude reveals truth
6) Alter ego fucks him (himself) up posin as himself!!! (picture if u will)
7) Dude runs away to unknown area, hidin frm HIMSELF to get rid of his alter ego(himself)
8) Dude tries to come bak wen he thinks he's rid himself of himself!!!!! (WTF???!)
9) dus not work: alter ego's bak, dude tries killin himself (sleepin pills...)
10) movie closes wit dude (fully cured) with chick....n no1 knows how he's cured.....apparently ur sposed to bliv "LOVE" can cure all things....
Need i say more????

Phoonk 2
Shockd dat i've seen dis? Well, our famous quartet of movie-going manioacs hav reviewd dis move too!! N trust me, its opne swell ride!! Believe me, its SCARY-ly shocking! Ur wits vl b numbed by it! Followin d traditional storyline of happy-family-must-b-screwed, it has elements of horror dat left us razzled to d core! M not exaggeratin wen im sayin dat 2 of my frends had gone cold n silent by d middle of d movie n wen i, in utmost concern, nudged dem, all i cud elicit ws a couple of disgruntled groans frm beind d bags dey were using as cover to spare demselvs d horror of d movie's scare tactics! Aww c'mon, dont b too hard on dose poor guys now.....if u'd seen d worst-lookin female in d scariest make-up arrive in pop-down fashion all of a sudden on d giant screen, ud b shakin too!! Altho i must admit, i simply can NOT 4get dis fact: D ghost drove a knife straight thru d father TWICE, i repeat, a friggin GHOST used a friggin KNIFE n drove it thru d father friggint TWICE, yet legendary daddy-o JUST WUDNT DIE!! Now who d hell was d ghost, i ask u!!??!!!! If u hav a gang of movie-scorners lyk i do (srsly proud of u guys), den dis d go-to movie, i swear!!

Dats ryte, suckers!! We left no potboiler un-watched! Lemme just tell u wat d movie has:
It has 3 stories....d first one abt Love, d second one about Sex, n d third about Dhokha. N dey're all (kudos to d wrold's most twisted criminal-director-mastermind) connected in d weirdest way. Excellent cinematography, i must say, wit d trals of using handycam-shot effects to give a touch of reality to d whole movie. Its d best laffter-riot of d year!
D movie abt Love has a dad who wants his own daughter to star in a movie dat MUST have a mujra item-dance shot at his own place on d occasion of d aforementioned daughter's weddin! Aforementiond father den proceeds to hav his daughter n her lover KILLED when dey elope. Aforementiond daughter elopes wit a cheapskate producer dude n den d pair of fools call up psycho-dad n confess!! Confused enuff yet? dere's more!
D movie abt Sex has a fraud store manager tryin to have sex with a store salesgirl n capture it on viedotape n sell it to help himself get out of a monetary problem wit sum dangerous thugs!! Wait, ders more....
D movie about Dhokha depicts an aspirin dancer tryin to expose a famous popstar for havin offerd her a role in his music video in exchange for sex! Period!
N BELIEVE IT OR NOT, D SADISTIC DIRECTOR HAD D TWISTED SENSE OF HUMOUR TO ACTUALLY CONNECT ALL D PEOPLE IN D 3 STORIES!! Dont u just luv d guy???? We did! N i offishially giv it a 5-star rating as far as d "Fry-Ur-Brain Movie" category is concerned!

Iron Man 2
Tony Stark is God.
Tony Stark HAND-BUILT a large hadron collider at home.
Tony Stark has large enuff home for d collider.
Stark's dad is d father of God.
He left d electronic configuration of an undiscovered element in d form of a map of a park leaving his son (said God) to synthesize it using said Hadron collider.
Ivan Vanko is Devil.
Ivan Vanko is a Russain scientist who: a) loves his bird ("bord") b)hates Tony.
Scarlett Johansson is hot.

I've also watched "kites" but its wrought my fragile, lil mind so much dat i need another post to relate its entire true form to u. Till then, ciao!

1 comment:

devraj said...

suave, straight and stylish writing........totally connected with your take on iron man 2. hadnt watched the other three you mentioned......but it doesn't take a leap of faith to assume you are right about them too