Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Boy you're drunk...kapeesh?

I had yet again my bio chapters gorging on me, so i decided to take a break agen n write up a new post. Well, of all d heeby jeebies i could write on, i chose dis fer a v important reezn: its gonna help lotsa ppl find a safe way bak home. Yup, Ive figured out sum fool-proof ways of how u can say ur really drunk, u really hav ze booz flowin thru u, mate...here's how:

1) U try gettin in2 a taxi filled wid passengers (*coz u cant c d friggin passengers*) den realize ders sum obstrucshun on d seat, n u get down mutterin : Aiaiai! bloody cabdriver!! D seat's too darn high!

2) U fynally get into an empty taxi n think dat d fare meter shows d time.
Drunk dyud: Holy @#$@#$%%!! Drive faster!! Its 14 past 54 olredy!!.......R u kiddin me?? Now its 32 past 65!! Ill neva reach in time!

3) U go to a party n start actin way too spanish (*ahem...dont mind, z spanish think dey r way too slick wid z girls.....n d drunk ones think z same, wit guys*)
Sober dude: Hey, u seen francis?
Drunk francis (*does a salsa spin, makes a slutty smile*): Oley!!! I m Ferancees Feruhnahndo! Want too tahngo? (*voice a cross btwn a deep baritone n a croak*)
Sober dude(*running away*): Bleeeearghh!! Take ur cock away Phurnuhndo!! Wait...Is dat a jalapeno?!!
Drunk dude(*runnin after him*): El como bako!!(*i dunno wat dis means tho*)

4) U do d YMCA dance at a relativ's funeral to show ur respect fer d poor, demised soul. (ps. hav u seen d friggin' dance? its hilarious!!)

5) U go to a party, a guy whips out his hand fer a handshake, n u reply: "O yeah?! well same to u sucker!! Fuck u!" n giv him bak d rude sign vch d poor guy never made in d first place.

6) U go to a zoo, get too near d monkey enclosure n start screamin at d poor primates : Hey!! Get me outta dis cage!!! Il have u fer dis!!!

7) Ur office routine goes lyk dis:
* U reach office in ur frenz car
* U walk straight up to ze boss
* U grab his collars, bring ur face too darn close, breath hoarsely, n say..
* "Maria, pleease dont leave me..."

8) U do a lil jiggly thingy wid ur butt cheeks in front of yer kids just to show ur happy

9) U go to a store n start tokin to a mannequin n eventually even get her fone no.......(* :*)

10) U take part in "Romeo n Juliet" n mess it up:
Juleit: O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?
Romeo (*drunk*): M down here in ze bushes just takin a piss!!

11) U start driving bak home... n never make it.


MaDdY said...



The Wize Witch said...

lol this is hilarious! :D